My History of Am I Sick or Crazy

  It all started about four years ago when one day I noticed a discharge coming from my nipples.  I immediately thought I was pregnant, so I took a test at home and it was negative.  Then I took another, and another all negative.  Soon, I began to gain weight and it showed only in the stomach.  I bought some more tests and still negative. 

  I made an appointment with my PCP (Primary Care Physician) and he did blood work and I was not pregnant.  I asked if there was anything else that could be causing the symptoms and the doctor just told me not to worry that the blood test  would have shown if anything was wrong.  Then, this is the kicker, I was probably stressed or wishful thinking about being pregnant.

  Let me tell you there is no way it was either of those things.  I just started my relationship with my now Husband(no stress there), and was definitely not thinking of having another baby anytime soon.

I changed my PCP write away.  I started getting knew symptoms like passing out, getting dizzy, vomiting, and I was now in maternity clothes, but not pregnant.  No one knew what was wrong with me.

  After about three months of having all these symptoms they mysteriously went away.  My stomach even went down.  Then a new symptom came, or should I say didn't come, my period.  I went and bought another test and I was pregnant.  Thats enough to make you crazy, right?

  I was exactly four weeks pregnant.  I thought that can't be right, I have had all the problems for at least three months.  Well, it seems when I get pregnant all the symptoms go into remission, of sorts.  Then two or three months after I finished breast feeding all my symptoms came back, and the whole process would start all over again with the doctors.

  It is now four years, two kids, and one miscarriage later and I am no closer to finding out what is causing my symptoms. On the positive side I know all of the things I do not have. I have all the same symptoms from the start plus a few more now.   I am still getting asked when am I due.  My hair is falling out in clumps.  I have all of the symptoms of a thyroid disease, but the "blood work" says I am fine. 

  A few weeks later I had a CAT scan done of my chest because I had pleurisy, and they found four nodules on my thyroid as well.  I get sent to an endocrinologist and am told they are so small that there is nothing to worry about.  Well what about all the symptoms I am having?

  I am so tired of the way I feel.  I just want my old self back.  The vibrant, skinny, loving life woman that I once was.  Instead, I am depressed and full of anxiety.  I look at myself and wonder what has happened to me and why?  Every time I alert the doctors of a new symptom they make me feel like I am some sort of hypochondriac.  Some times I wonder is this all imagined, am I going crazy?

I know there are others like me out there and would love for you to share your stories and/or comments.

Until next time, Erica.